Monthly Archives: February 2011

Being deaf in the great outdoors

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Posted by maxporter on February 8, 2011 – 10:21 PM
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I grew up in the mountains, but I was simply a day hiker for a long time. That changed when I was fifteen years old and I had the opportunity to go on a week-long backpacking trip in the Colorado Rockies. To this day, I have many treasured memories from that trip that stand out.

Here’s one:

A gorgeous mountain lake.

Another is when we decided to finish the trip early. At this point, we’d already hiked up and down mountainous terrain for many days days while we each carried approximately 50 pounds on our backs. Despite that, we decided that, instead of covering the remaining three kilometers at a leisurely pace over the course of two days, we should hike the entire last stretch in one day. It was difficult and we took frequent breaks to rest, but the feeling of being at the base camp before anybody else was exhilarating. And then, even though we were supposed to sit around at the campground, the counselors drove us out of there. On the drive, they blasted reggae music so loudly that we could feel it and drove the camp van like it was an offroad SUV. After some time, we pulled over at this random spot by the road and found some natural hot springs. We jumped in and relaxed, which felt indescribably wonderful on our sore muscles. After that, we went back to the campground and pitched a tent. The firm, flat ground of the campground felt like a luxury hotel after days of trying to find a relatively rock-free stretch of ground to pitch our tents on.

Now, one reason that this trip is unique is because it was at a deaf camp. Like I said a few posts ago, I don’t consider my deafness to be a barrier to enjoying the outdoors. I think that one reason that I feel this way is because I went to deaf camp. Like I said, I’d never backpacked before I went to deaf camp. To be part of a group where the majority of the people were deaf taught me that you don’t have to be hearing to enjoy adventures in the outdoors.

A group of people stands in front of a mountain valley.

Interestingly, a hearing counselor was one of the trip’s leaders, but her auditory status wasn’t the most important attribute that she brought to the team. What was a lot more useful was the fact that she had vast expertise as an outdoorswoman who had guided trips before. She also an ability to build a rapport with people, including deaf people. And she was a truly wise person. I learned a lot just from sitting and talking to her. When it comes down to it, her auditory status wasn’t the thing that I valued most about her.

I haven’t been on overnight hiking trips since then, but I’d love to go on an outdoors adventure again at some point.

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How I Got Into Music

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Posted by maxporter on February 7, 2011 – 11:24 PM
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Okay, I realize I’ve covered this topic in my blog a couple of times before. But, in my previous discussions of this topic, I’ve failed to note a key factor in my budding interest in music because, after all, this is the Internet. Who knows who reads this blog? But I’ve decided, fuck it. A hell of a lot of people will probably be able to relate to this post.

Now that I’ve dispensed with that: what helped me get into music? What made my reaction to music go from “Oh, that’s neat, but I’d rather go read instead,” to “Oh my god, I love this song!”?

Two words: Chemical assistance.

Drawing of a man listening to music.

That’s all that I’m going to say.

Under the influence of certain substances, a lot of things happen to the human brain. Everyone is affected differently, but, in highly scientific terms, my experience is this:

  • Time slows down a LOT, sometimes to the point where things look like bullet time in The Matrix.
  • My eye perceives shifting colors as the most gorgeous and spectacular sight ever.
  • My tongue perceives interesting combinations of food as worthy of five-star ratings in Zagat. (Full disclosure: I have been known to put hummus on my chocolate-chip cookies and to put peppermint schnapps in my coca-cola.)
  • Ideas bloom in my brain and I gain the ability to draw things decently.
  • Most pertinently to the present topic, my brain becomes spellbound by the deeply profound and wondrous experience of music.

You see, when I listen to music under the influence, I lose all sense of the boundaries that separate my personal self from the rest of the world. I become completely swept up in the music. The emotions that a specific song expresses become much, much stronger. An intense, moody song sweeps me up in dark eddies of emotion whereas a catchy song makes me want to lip-synch and rock out to the song even though I am never inclined to do something like that while sober. I never understood why hearing people attach so many emotions to music until I listened to it intoxicated. Then I understood. So, that’s reason number one that it helped me appreciate music more.

Another reason that getting intoxicated helped me to expand my musical taste is because I used to be totally shy about trusting my own musical taste – I didn’t think that I, as a deafie, could judge for myself what was and was not good music. After chilling out with music, including shitty music, a few times, I began to learn to trust my own taste in music. While intoxicated, the distinctions between “good” and “shit” blur. Sometimes I have listened to songs that sound unspeakably amazing and wonderful, then I go back and listen to them again sober and I’m embarrassed to admit that I ever listened to them. But, hey, it sounded great at the time, so who cares?

During a typical session, I tend to turn up the bass all the way and drag songs to a playlist that I name “Mt. Baker.” Then I stare at either the iTunes visualizer or a music video while I immerse myself in the music. There’s a stereotype that people gravitate towards specific types of music under the influence. For me, there is a grain of truth in that, but I listen to pretty much everything while under the influence. This is the kind of stuff that I would put on my Mt. Baker playlist:1

Afrika Shox – Leftfield
Overcome – Tricky
Broken Drum (Boards of Canada remix) – Beck
Eternal Feedback (No Protection remix of Sly) – Massive Attack
War All the Time – Thursday
Dear God – XTC
Untrust Us – Crystal Castles
Roads (Roseland NYC Live version) – Portishead
Black Milk – Massive Attack
Stop Talking – Memory Tapes
Umhome – Miriam Makeba
Isobel – Bjork
Amaranth – Nightwish

So, yeah, that’s how I got into music. However, I would like to note that I continued to listen to music while sober. I realized that a lot of these songs were really quite good, even sober, and I enjoyed listening to them. Like I said, I used to think of music as something that was kind of cool but not my favorite thing in the world. I explored music a little bit in the past and the people in my life tried to introduce me to songs that had turned them on to music, but I never really understood the appeal of music until I began partaking in certain substances. Then something clicked.

Getting intoxicated was like a catalyst for my interest in music: the elements were already there, but they needed a “key” to activate the reaction. Had I remained straight-edge, perhaps I would have continued a slow journey of exploring my musical interests. Who knows? What I do know is that, for me, the process of finding a beat I could groove to was greatly accelerated by outside help.

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  1. Click on the song name for the Youtube video; click on the artist name for the last.fm artist bio. [↩]
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Paradigm Shift

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Posted by maxporter on February 5, 2011 – 12:02 AM
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Near the end of SLC Punk, the main character, Stevo, muses: “What do you do when your foundation falls apart? They don’t teach you that in school.” That’s basically how I’m feeling right now.

The thing is, the entire reason that I’ve been going to school is to study film. When I graduate in May, that’s what my degree will be in. Throughout the course of my studies, I’ve been interested in different aspects of film. At first I was interested in scriptwriting, then I mainly became interested in working for film archives or film festivals.

But as time has gone on, I’ve become more and more jaded about the prospect of film as a career for two main reasons: it doesn’t provide very good money, and I don’t want to spend my working days surrounded by things that are inaccessible to me. At my previous jobs, I’ve been in the latter situation too many times. For example, I worked at an archive that houses one of the largest collections of American experimental film, but I couldn’t watch the vast majority of the films because they weren’t captioned. It isn’t really possible to caption them due to lack of funds plus the fact that it’s sometimes difficult to caption experimental films. Since an average person’s working day takes up the majority of their life, I don’t want to spend my life working at – nay, starving for – a job that I can’t enjoy the benefits of. I would need a large amount of passion for film, and I don’t like film that much.

An additional complication is that I was in a cocoon for the longest time in high school due to being closeted. That directly influenced my academic interests, my recreational interests, and, to some extent, my politics. But, now that I’m living the life that I want to be living, I’m realizing that I kind of let myself be pushed into a box. For example, I sought out a city lifestyle because I thought that “diversity” would guarantee me more personal freedoms. I’m realizing that it’s not as simple as that. At this point, I’d rather be back home fighting for amendments to the state law while people in my neighborhood treat me nicely because it’s a small town and they know me and love me instead of being in a place where people think that the best approach to diversity is to ignore everyone they pass by on the street.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am glad that I spent college away from home. I needed that space to grow and carve out my new life for myself. It would have been nice if I could have done that a little sooner or if I’d spent the time in a much nicer city, but I’m okay with the way that I went about learning some lessons. I don’t know if I’ll spend my life in my home state or if I’ll seek out opportunities elsewhere, but I do know that I never want to live east of the Appalachians – or, for that matter, the Rockies – for longer than three months ever again. Five years in a row has been long enough for me.

So, right now, my priority is to get my BA. My plan from that point forward is to move back home – see, I’ve begun calling it ‘home’ again – and then figure out what to do from there. I think it should be okay because it has a much lower cost of living and the unemployment rate is lower than the national average, so I should be able to find a job and an apartment that I can afford.

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Update

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Posted by maxporter on February 4, 2011 – 3:57 PM
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In my previous post, I talked about emailing Discovery about the captions for I Shouldn’t Be Alive. Well, less than 24 hours later, Discovery Store’s customer service team has written back:

Dear Valued,

Thank you for your email. I regret that we do not currently stock the item that you have requested with closed captions. There is no estimated date of availability for this item with the feature requested. However, we do appreciate your interest. Please rest assured that we have forwarded your request to our merchandising group. If you do not see what you are looking for on the site, please feel free to register online to receive email updates with new products and promotions.

I highly recommend that you submit your request directly to our product development department and it may be available for purchase in the near future:

http://store.discovery.com/productfinder.php

I hope this information helps! If you need any further assistance, please let me know.

Best regards,
[name]

It’s pretty generic and reads like a form letter but I’m going to follow up with the product development department like he suggested.

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How ironic.

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Posted by maxporter on February 4, 2011 – 12:02 AM
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Remember how, in my previous post, I said that I Shouldn’t Be Alive is one of my favorite TV shows right now? In fact, I liked it so much that I ordered a DVD set for the first season.

Guess what? It didn’t have captions.

I’m pretty upset and disgusted right now.

This is the email that I wrote to Discovery store:

Hello,
The reason that I am contacting you is because I recently ordered the DVD set for the first season of I Shouldn’t Be Alive. I have been a fan of this TV show for a while, and I would consider it my favorite TV show.
However, when the DVD set came, I discovered that there were no captions. I am deaf, so I was upset because I could not watch the product that I had ordered. It was especially puzzling because there are captions on the broadcast version of the show.
I have filled out a return form and am mailing it back tomorrow, but I would like to inquire as to whether you anticipate including captions on future incarnations of the DVD sets. I had been planning on ordering subsequent seasons when they came out, but I won’t be doing
that unless it is confirmed that there will be captions.
Thank you,
[name]

I will keep you guys updated if they write back.

See, one of the things about the show is that it’s just not possible to follow it without captions. It’s difficult for me to follow anything without captions, but I Shouldn’t Be Alive is impossible because I’d estimate that about 90% of it is told via voiceovers. The way that the show is set up is, they interview the survivor(s) and actors reenact the story. So you see the survivor talk for two seconds, then it cuts to a shot of the actor(s) reenacting the story while the survivor describes what is going on. In many episodes, there also is a narrator that adds information such as, “It’s not good to eat snow because it will accelerate hypothermia” or “this was the worst storm in a century” or “he fell a distance equivalent to the height of the Chrysler building.” Sometimes, actors reenact dialogue, but most times, the dialogue that is onscreen is extremely limited and no more than maybe five words at a time. So, yeah, it’s just not possible to follow the show without knowing what the voiceovers say.

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: It’s not just deaf people who benefit from captions. It’s also people who can’t understand that guy’s Australian accent, people who want to watch the show on mute while their spouse sleeps in the next room over, whatever. Providing equal access to deaf people should, in my opinion, be a sufficient reason to include captions on every single televised product, but there are a million situations in which hearing people would like to have captions as an option too.

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Survival stories

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Posted by maxporter on February 3, 2011 – 1:00 PM
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Right now, one of the things I’m really interested in is stories about surviving in extreme conditions in the wild. For example, I’ve fallen in love with the show I Shouldn’t Be Alive and I’ve added the book Between A Rock and a Hard Place1 to my “favorite books” list.

One of the reasons that I love this genre of adventure stories is because they are often extremely mindblowing. Sometimes, there is just no medical or logical reason that the person should be alive, except for sheer willpower. How did the 25-year-old from Pittsburgh subsist for twenty days in the Grand Canyon on a few cups of water per day and no food? How did the British mountaineer survive lying in the snow of Mt. McKinley overnight with no protection from the elements when it was negative 50 degrees fahrenheit? Sometimes, the only explanation is sheer luck and their determination to keep living. Come on, that’s just badass.

Jamie Andrew climbs a cliff.

Like any other story, though, you can subdivide survival stories into as many different categories as you want. Personally, one type of survival stories that I enjoy most are the stories of when people become disabled, but they continue to do the sports that they loved prior to their accident. For example, to the right is a photo of Jamie Andrew, a mountaineer who lost his hands and feet to frostbite after he was stranded in a blizzard on the summit of Les Droites in the Alps for five days. As you can see in this video, he also ice-climbs using special crampons and prosthetic arms with ice axes on them.

The reason that I like these stories because the people just keep doing what they enjoy doing. So many people could have gotten stuck in a loop of internalized ableism and spent the rest of their lives on the sofa moaning about how they could never be able to go outside again. I mean, to be honest, I probably would have that initial reaction of devastation if I lost my hand(s). In these cases, survival isn’t just about what the people endured on the mountain or in the canyon or whatever – it also encompasses their process of adjusting to their new bodies. These people learned to embrace their new bodies. Which is a great attitude to take because, um, what else are you going to do? You can’t magically regenerate a lost arm, and it definitely is better to be alive without an arm than dead.

Of course, part of my interest in this subset of survival stories is due to the fact that I was born deaf. Now, I personally think being deaf is not very disabling at all.2 I have, however, run into some people who express concern for me because I’m deaf. Even though these people do not make sense, some of those silly concerns have slipped through my filters and become part of a loop of internalized ableism. So, for me, seeing people who contend with actual barriers – climbing with no arms versus simply hiking with no hearing – reminds me to get my head out of that loop of ableism and to just pursue my interest in adventuring in the outdoors regardless.

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  1. Subsequently filmed as 127 Hours and re-published as 127 Hours: Between A Rock and a Hard Place. [↩]
  2. Granted, some deaf people went deaf due to an illness in their inner ear, which affects their balance. My balance is just fine, though. [↩]
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This blog

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Posted by maxporter on February 2, 2011 – 10:15 PM
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Oh dear, I seem to have neglected this blog again.

To be honest, part of the problem is that I have interests other than social justice and the arts. Those are definitely two of my bigger interests, but at this stage in my life, my other interests are occupying more brain space right now. For example, I’m also interested in the outdoors and making food.

So, here’s a question for you guys. How would you feel if I shifted the focus of this blog to a more random one? It’d be more like a personal blog. Or should I create a new blog to serve as a personal blog and keep this one focused upon activism and the arts?

Thank you.

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